I’ve Always Wanted a Fake Relationship

(photo credit: David/Flickr CC)

Cloud Girlfriend promises to help lonely men sink to rock bottom.

The new web startup company guarantees its users a fake, virtual girlfriend who will publicly interact with them on Facebook and other social networking sites. Cloud Girlfriend describes their service as this:

Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

According to the website, “Due to high demand we are only able to accommodate a limited number of users to the site. Register early to get in line.” Apparently many people seem interested in a virtual, fake relationship.

Users can design their girlfriends to meet their precise specifications. Once you begin your relationship with your fake beau, somebody employed by the company will interact with you on Facebook via “her” profile. Then all of your single male friends can be jealous of your hot new girlfriend.

This just sounds like a recipe for disaster. What are your friends going to think when they realized you’ve paid a company to create a pretend woman to interact with you on the internet?

I have a strange feeling Mark Zuckerberg will have some issues with this, as Facebook doesn’t like fake profiles. And if there really are people out there who are desperate enough fake a relationship, wouldn’t they have already done it?

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Facebook Changes Something Else That Makes The Entire World Angry

I hate Facebook every time it introduces some new, unnecessary feature. So does the rest of the planet. This morning, I found a brand new reason to completely loathe Mark Zuckerberg.

Photocredit: Paul Flickr/CC

No, its not the hideous photo banner or the disappearance of the “write something about yourself” box. It’s not the obnoxious black photo viewer or the lost applications like “bumper sticker.” Facebook has hit a new low.

Now, it has not only taken away things that were fun and informative and added ugly little pictures, it has changed the way we communicate with our “friends.”

Commenting on a wall post is now identical to Facebook Chat. The moment you hit ENTER, the comment will post to the internet for the world to see, rather then starting a new paragraph. In order to start a new paragraph, users must type SHIFT+ENTER to do so (this is explained in size 2 font under the comment box)

I can only anticipate the mass amounts of confusion today when people accidentally post unfinished comments to the internet. Why, Mark Zuckerberg, was this necessary?

There is a way to edit comments now that doesn’t require deleting them in a fury before someone notices your typo. Simply hit the X in the corner of the comment and the text will now remain, allowing it to be edited and reposted, or simply deleted.

HotTips reports that the edit feature is only available for a few short moments,

if you do make a mistake, and hit Enter early, you don’t actually have to retype everything. It will actually retract it from the comment thread, and allow you to edit it. The window to do this is pretty small, so you have to be quick about it.

So while the entire world is complaining about this new feature today, everybody just needs to remember to thank Mr. Zuckerberg. I wonder what’s next!

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Now It’s Even Easier To Stalk Every Single Person You Know

Stalkers everywhere, rejoice! Finally, there is another way to track every single person you know/sort of know/have never even spoken to on Facebook.

The Facebook Breakup Notifier allows users to pick certain “friends” whose relationship status they would like to monitor (stalk.) Then, if one of the relationships change, the user will get an email notification.

“You like someone. They’re in a relationship. Be the first to know when they’re out of it,” the website guarantees. This is the creepiest thing I have ever heard.

Facebook blocked the app just 3 days after it launched, but there are talks to reinstate it. At The Globe and Mail, Sidneyeye Matrix, a media professor at Queen’s University in Canada states,

“My first instinct is to say that, culturally speaking, this is getting very close to a violation of their terms of service. They have pulled the plug before on viral campaigns and apps that violate their privacy standards for users.”

Dan Loewenherz, the 24-year-old creator began a campaign to bring the app back saying,

“it stuck a cord with people and illustrates the changing needs of those who use social media.”

The application, launched Saturday, February 19th, attracted over 3.6 million people in the 3 days it was active. One reviewer calls it, “brilliant but creepy.” Dr. Matrix calls it, “digital curiosity.”  I call it, “absolutely insane.”

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